APR 12, 2019 11:00 PM
Why I argue on Facebook (started dec 31 2016, finished dec 23 2017)
People ask me if I am looking for fights online? I’m like nah, but I am whetting the knife of my intellect. I am learning from those I disagree with. I am evolving my own thinking. I am studying their rhetorical volleys. I am practicing how to transform adversarial exchange into cooperative meaning making. This rough discourse is how we learn how to understand and communicate. It improves us. It improves me.
There are patterns, repeated phrases, and reactions. I appreciate the affirmations but honestly it’s the challenges that are most productive. Sometimes they fact check and correct but in practice this is rare. Sometimes they force us to go deeper. Sometimes they highlight what we are saying. Oftentimes they embody the point we are making.
On Facebook advocating for something attracts it’s opposite. Oftentimes I’m advocating openness and inclusion. When I share stories of positive outcomes I get likes but not a lot of comments. When I share stories of negative repercussions of white supremacy, male supremacy, heterosexism there is a lot of interaction. It attracts people who want to defend or deny white supremacy, male supremacy, heterosexism are happening.
Some get upset that I use the words white supremacy. My specificity is frightening. They recoil and strike in fear and loathing. They call me ignorant, they call me a fool, they accuse me of attacking them. They tells they feel sorry for me, that my views are laughable, that I am misinformed. I am not hurt by their language that is meant to hurt me. I am hurt by the knowledge that they are acting on their beliefs in the world. I am hurt by the repercussions of their actions.
Some people are trolls. They get pleasure in upsetting people online. They are inconsistent, inflammatory, and cruel. In my experience they have been mostly male and advocating for white supremacy and heterosexism. These participants are best blocked quickly. They poison and confuse.
I’ll admit sometimes I am venting my spleen in a safe space where fisticuffs come only in emoticons. I’ll find a conversation that is clearly racist and weigh in with articulate viciousness backed with verified facts. I’ll bomb comment sub-threads with volleys of accurate information and superiority. When I flame it is HOT! I always feel vaguely satisfied and guilty after these exchanges. I think this is why trolls troll. This is the dark side and I try not to fall into this practice.
These exchanges we have on Facebook are public and performative. In some ways we are not only speaking to each other. We are speaking to our audiences. While I have sincerely worked to persuade folks I have never felt the other party was honestly trying to convince me. They were trying to win the argument. I suppose that makes sense if my point is advocating for the humanity of us all and their point is to stop me from doing that.
I’m trying my best to have honest civil exchanges. People say arguing on facebook is a waste of time because people don’t change their minds. I disagree with that assessment. Every time we exchange we create new meaning together. This is meaning for the people reading the exchange and those participating in it. Every exchange either confirms or evolves the cultural norms. I’m trying to never allow ugly to be acceptable cause that sh*t will stick and it leaves a stain.
Sometimes people listen to enough voices and recognize the ugliness and illogic of their behavior. And then they delete the evidence. I hate this. Why not allow us to learn from the example? I worry they erase and then repeat. As if erasing their moment of discovery erases the knowledge itself. As if them not knowing how they cause harm erases the harm.
There are moments of grace. Moments of discovery. Moments of transformation. I’ve seen people expand, grow, and become better human beings over time. Any space can be beautiful if it is full of beautiful human behavior. We are motivated to share positive stories of transformation. We fear it in ourselves but find hope when we see in on others. So I am not looking for people to fight with. I am looking for hope. I am finding hope.
https://www.facebook.com/claudia.alick/posts/10155379554627637
#calling up #facebook #onlinediscourse #resource