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Neurodiverse Hacks from Claudia Alick & Calling Up Justice
These hacks are useful for family events like the backyard BBQ or reunion, religious ceremonies, school events, conventions, arts gatherings, and all the strange little social ecosystems humans create.
Hack #1: Befriend the Organizer. Become the Organizer.
Find the person in charge of the event and help them.
Now instead of awkward social exchanges, you’re in the kitchen chopping vegetables. You’re out back clearing brush for the picnic table setup. You’re fixing the sound system and suddenly you’re the DJ.
Helping gives you a role.
It also gives you an immediate escape clause. If someone starts an interaction that is draining, confusing, or too intense, you suddenly have an obligation that is “necessary for the event.” You can disappear respectfully.
This hack also comes with perks:
- Organizers almost always have a quiet hiding place.
- They know the schedule.
- They know where the snacks are.
- They usually have somewhere to take a quick phone call or decompress away from the crowd.
Become the organizer and that space becomes yours too.
No surprises. No floating awkwardly. You now have a mission.
Hack #2: Befriend the Baby or Bring Homework
The best way to avoid awkward social interaction is to be otherwise engaged.
The second you arrive at the event, find a child — preferably one who is preverbal — and go engage with them. Kid interactions are often more straightforward, playful, and relaxing than adult small talk.
Children also appreciate:
- rocks
- stickers
- silly noises
- asking sincere questions
- being spun in circles
A much better social system.
If there’s no baby around, bring homework.
If you pull out a book for pleasure, people may decide you are “antisocial.” But if you are reading something “for class” or “for work,” suddenly society understands.
You can also give yourself homework for the event:
- Take notes on the event design for your own future gathering.
- Write down compliments to send the organizers afterward.
- Ask one person to tell you about something that brings them joy.
- Trade three business cards.
- Compliment an artist.
- Learn one person’s special interest.
Think of it like a conversational scavenger hunt.
Taking notes is also an incredible shield. People assume you are busy, thoughtful, and purposeful instead of “awkward and standing weird by the cheese tray.”
Hack #3: The Party Bag
Carry a purse, backpack, or tote filled with tiny delights.
Possible contents:
- stickers
- face paint
- dollar store magic tricks
- bubbles
- temporary tattoos
- tiny toys
- snacks
- pens
- portable chargers
- fun apps on your phone
At social gatherings, you can create a tiny activity station:
- paint one face at a time
- teach someone a magic trick
- create a mini photo booth
- hand out stickers like a traveling cryptid fairy
People come to you.
This gives you:
- a stable place to exist
- structured activities
- easy interaction prompts
- something to do with your hands
- an identity within the gathering
Everyone loves the person with the party bag.
For professional events, the contents shift slightly. Maybe your bag has chargers, pens, snacks, cough drops, bandaids, or a useful app. You become “the prepared person,” which is another excellent social role.
Hack #4: Wear the Conversation Starter
If talking is hard, let the outfit do some of the labor.
Wear:
- weird earrings
- a shirt from a niche fandom
- dramatic glasses
- a jacket with patches
- sparkly shoes
- a cane decorated like a wizard staff
- an interesting pin
- something handmade
Humans LOVE an object to organize interaction around.
Now instead of:
“Tell me about yourself.”
You get:
“Oh my god where did you get that frog necklace?”
Which is a MUCH easier conversation.
This also helps filter for your people. The folks who notice and appreciate your strange little object are often the people most likely to be safe, interesting, or neurodivergent themselves.
Fashion can be social scripting.
Hack #5: The Butterfly Bounce
Give yourself a limited amount of time you are required to stay at the event.
Also give yourself a reason you must leave:
- another obligation
- a phone call
- a second event
- “an early morning tomorrow”
- mysterious butterfly business
This allows you to:
- say hello to the organizer
- have one or two meaningful exchanges
- be visibly present
- leave before your nervous system catches on
People remember that you came.
You become “a social butterfly” instead of “someone who skipped the event.”
You floated in.
You sparkled briefly.
You escaped.
A perfect neurodiverse maneuver.